The Beginner Photography Podcast

Time To Say Goodbye.

• Raymond Hatfield

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View All The Photos From Todays Photo Walk - https://beginnerphotopod.com/finalphotowalk

#596 In today’s episode, Raymond Hatfield shares why letting go of the Beginner Photography Podcast is the decision that could recharge your creativity and rekindle your passion for shooting.

If you’re feeling burned out, stuck in a creative rut, or like your camera’s gathering dust, you’re not alone. Many photographers reach a point where obligations overshadow the joy that got them started. Today, Raymond opens up about the hard lessons learned after years of balancing business, creativity, and community, and why it’s sometimes necessary to step back to move forward. By listening, you’ll discover how to protect your passion, recognize burnout, and find the courage to say yes to new opportunities for growth behind the lens.


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Thanks for listening & keep shooting!

Hey. Hey. Welcome to the Beginner Photography Podcast. I am your host, Raymond Hatfield, and today we have a very different type of episode. As you may hear, I am out on an early morning photo walk today, so I'm going to take you along with me while I explore a beautiful local state park. You know, it's October. We're getting to that time where the leaves are starting to change and colors are looking beautiful. I just love it. Got a lot of flowers out here. They still have some life in them. They're not giving up yet. Pair that with this beautiful sunrise this morning. Then it's just. It's a beautiful morning to get out and take a photo. I brought out my handy Canon EOS55, a nice little film camera that I picked up a few weeks ago that I shared with you on the podcast. I'm shooting some Kodak Color Plus. Why Color Plus? I don't know. It just seemed like an interesting idea. And I'm gonna be sharing all of the photos that I take today with you. So if you want to follow along on this photo walk with me, you can just go ahead and click the link in the show notes and you'll see the gallery there. Check it out. Let me know what you think. So I want to start off today's episode with a little story that I think is relevant to later. All right, so a number of years ago, we're talking about 13 years ago or so, is when my wife and I decided to move out from California to Indiana. Now, I grew up in California, and when it came time to, like, you know, in school, learn all the states and whatnot, it's funny, because California was always, like, so big, and it was so. I don't know, it was. It was California. So when it came time to learning all of the other states, you just didn't pay a lot of attention to them. All right? I mean, you paid attention to your neighbors. You got Oregon, you got Nevada, you got Arizona. You know, Washington's up there as well. But other than that, that was. That was really about it. So here I am, obviously, a number of years later, and I've packed up everything that I own, and I'm moving out to Indiana. This is a bit embarrassing, but if. If you would have handed me a map of the United States, said with no. With no labels on them, and just said, point to Indiana. I'm not convinced that I would be able to because you just, like, you just didn't care. You know, you're just like, oh, it's all corn or you know, I have no reason to ever go there. Why care? And here I am uprooting my entire life to not only go there, but to move there. Now, the idea was originally that my wife and I were going to move out to Indiana and save some cash before moving back out to LA because, well, we both wanted to work in the film industry and LA was the place to do that. However, as maybe you've heard me on the podcast say, before there was a writer strike, there was an actor strike, there just wasn't a lot of work going around. And LA is also one of the most expensive places to live. So we thought, let's save some cash and then we'll move back when things get better. Well, so here I am, we're driving the morning that we are leaving California, only temporarily, right? But still scary. And we're approaching the Nevada border, and I'm starting to think of, you know, all of the. All of the doubts start creeping into your head, is this the right decision? What am I doing? Am I going to regret this? All. All of those. All of those questions, all of those doubts. So as we are approaching the California and Nevada border, going out towards Indiana, this was at a time where, you know, you would keep your ipod in the car so that you could listen to music, you know, on long drive. So. And as I'm having these thoughts, a song comes on my ipod. Now, if you were to look at all of the songs on my ipod, it's a pretty eclectic mix of. Of music, right? Like, I have pretty much anything you could think of from. We got heavy metal. Love some heavy metal. A lot of classic rock. You know, we got Fleetwood Mac, we got Rush, a lot of Bob Seger, a lot of classics. All right. There's also movie soundtracks and some techno. Pretty much anything except for country. Well, you would also find, believe it or not, some opera. How much opera? One opera song. Why? I'm not entirely sure. I've never watched an opera. I've never. I couldn't even name an opera if you asked me to. If you held a gun in my head, I'd be a goner, right? But for some reason, I have one opera song on my ipod and I decided to come on in this moment and the song is called It's Time to say Goodbye. Oh, my goodness. That's the biggest spider I've ever seen in my entire life. Holy cow. Oh, I do not like this goodbye. And I don't, you know, think about. I don't even know if the song is in, like, another Language? Is it Italian? Is it. Is it even being sung in English? I. I'm not entirely sure. However, the chorus of the song is in English and it simply says, you know, it's a. It's just. It's just this tenor of a man, right, Just singing, it's time to say goodbye. And there was something about that song coming on as I was approaching the border of California, Nevada, that it wasn't lost on me, the significance. And while I was listening to the song, there was. There was this. There was this feeling of peace, there was this feeling of calm that kind of came over me. And it wasn't until that moment that I went from questioning the decision that I was making. Am I making the right decision? Am I going to regret this? Is everybody going to laugh at me? You know, things like that to, I'm doing it, I'm already on the way, so why not make the best of it? And it was in that moment that I changed from nervous to really excited. Suddenly, all of the opportunities, all of the, you know, you. You have your whole future in front of you, and it was just a really, really exciting time. And I love a good fresh start, you know? Love a good fresh start. So, as I said immediately, my mindset had. Had changed, my perception of what was happening had changed. So we moved out to Indiana and, you know, sometime later, after starting a photography business, I decided to start the podcast. And the podcast started because. Well, even though I did go to film school and a lot of the technicals transfer over between video and photo, there is still some that doesn't exactly transfer over in the same way. Like in. In the world of video, essentially, your shutter speed is pretty much locked at, you know, at 1/40 of a second because half of that is 24, because you're shooting at 24 frames per second. So you're either shooting with a shutter speed of 1 48th of a second or 1 60th of a second if you're shooting 30 FPS. But again, a lot of the technique. So the point is there's things that translate and things that. Not so much. And I felt like I was just kind of winging it. And I didn't like that idea. I felt like any moment somebody's going to figure out that I'm a huge fraud. Oh, my God, another one. Oh, I almost walked right into that. Oh, I don't like this now. This went from a fun sunrise photo walk to, I'm terrified for my life right now. I'm gonna walk right into a Spider web. Giant spider the size of my fist is gonna be walking on my face. Jeez. Okay, where was I? What was. I totally lost my train of thought. Oh, right, the podcast. Yeah. So I felt a bit of a fraud, right? Like, who am I to call myself this wedding photographer? And there's a. There's a good chance that I actually have no idea what I'm doing. I've had no formal education, so the podcast was a way to start talking to other photographers to figure out, you know, how they shoot. Because if I could find out how they shoot, then I would know pretty quickly if I was doing it right or not. And then I can also pick up some things that would help me to become a better, more efficient photographer. So that's what I did. That was back in 20. Well, the end of 2015. Released the first episode in 2016. And in that time, guys. Holy cow. I cannot believe the conversations I have been privileged to have. Like, legitimately, some days I still pinch myself because I can't believe I've been able to have conversations with people who I've looked up to for years, who, you know, there's a good chance would not have taken the time to talk to me unless I had a platform like the podcast. And I think that approaching the podcast with the sense of, like, curiosity, like, I really want to know more, like, am I doing this right? Rather than approaching it as, hey, I'm the expert. I'm going to teach you all of these things, so you better listen to me. So one of the reasons why the podcast really started resonating with you, there is always something new to learn in photography, and that's just an exciting idea that everybody who I talk to knows something that I don't, and I just have to find it. I love that. Well, as more of you started showing up, it kind of developed into this business because I had no intentions of turning it into a business from the beginning. I just wanted to have conversations with other photographers. That was it. How close am I to this train? Because it sounds like it's real close, but I see no tracks. I'm going to stay, train aware people, and never, ever, ever, ever shoot on train tracks, because it is not worth it ever. It's never worth it. Do not do it. Okay, so the podcast turned into a business. And you know, the thing about running a business, which, if. If you have done so yourself, you'll understand. Wow. I gotta go down to a twentieth of a second, and I'm still underexposed. Wow, this is dark in Here. All right, we're going 1/20 of a second at F25. Let's see how this works. Where am I at? There's a frame lane right there. We got. We got one. Okay, we got two, and we got three. There we go. Got myself a nice little early morning photo stitch right there. Oh, why didn't I get down? This is a much better photo down here. Okay, let's try this one more time. Okay. This is expensive on film, guys. This is why they tell you to. To slow down. My film forces you to slow down. You don't want to make the same mistakes Raymond Hadfield just made. Okay, and got that one and last one right there. Okay, cool. Seven frames gone, just like that. But after the years go on, you know, you're doing that for a year or so, and. And I don't know, maybe something happens where you have this big idea to go out and shoot something, but then you realize, oh, actually I have a. I have a podcast that needs to go out on Tuesday. And then you change your mind and. And say, okay, I'm not going to go out and shoot that thing. What I'm going to do instead is. Is record this podcast. And just over time, I think it becomes pretty easy to lose yourself, like, lose the reason why you started the podcast in. In the first place, right? Like, you just kind of drift away from it, and it's not intentional, and it's not a bad thing. It's just something that just naturally happens as. As it grows. And I'll be honest with you, like, after a while, I was starting to feel burnt out. Maybe you've heard, I've had a few episodes where I thought or where I've, you know, taken a few weeks off or a month off because I just needed time to recharge, you know, and it was always in those times that I would go out and I would recharge, and somehow I would always find the answer. And a few years ago, what that looked like was cloudspot. It was Gavin from cloudspot who had suggested helping the podcast. There we go. Good morning. And cloudspot says, hey, Raymond, we love what you're doing with the show. We want to help out in any way that we can. And it felt like this. This life jacket was being thrown to me, like, hey, we acknowledge that this is difficult. How can we help? So through working with cloudspot, cloudspot, in a sense, saved the podcast. It kept it going. Cloudspot provided the help and the resources to allow me to free up some of my time, to hire an Editor be able to not be so burnt out as I was, and to be able to focus on photography and delivering you the best content or episodes that I could, the best interviews that I could. So it's not a plug, but just a huge, I mean, deep, deep appreciation for cloudspot and what they have done, not only for me, but I want. Because I usually don't talk about this a lot, or at all, actually. I think this is the first time I've ever mentioned anything. But, like, it's. It's because of cloudspot that the podcast has continued to exist and you've been able to enjoy it over the past few years. And let me tell you, like, there's a lot of, I don't know, bad actors in photography, in the photography space, in the business of helping photographers. Right. There's something about podcasting that makes it a very good marketing channel. I put that in quotes because it feels gross. But people, I can't tell you, maybe each week I'll get 10, 12, 15 requests per week of people asking to be a guest on the show. And it's ultimately, the more that I, deep in, you realize, oh, it's because they're trying to pitch some sort of product. They're trying to pitch a product or a course or a mastermind or, you know, something like that, because they've been, quote, you know, doing photography professionally for, you know, two, three years, and now they're ready to share all of their information with. With you. And again, like, it's not. There's. There's nothing wrong with trying to sell a course or a product or a mastermind. I, I've. I've been a part of them. I find them incredibly helpful. I've purchased courses that have been incredibly helpful. But there's something about using the podcast purely as a way to just pitch your thing that just felt gross. And that's not. I. Why I do it. You know, I. I do it because I want to learn more about the world of photography. And, you know, selfishly, y' all just get to kind of be included in on those conversations. Yeah. Back down to a fifteenth of a second. Let's see if I can get this. Yeah, that's going to be blurry for sure. Because, you know, I have to protect this thing that I've created. Right. I want to talk to interesting photographers about photography, but also I have to protect you as well, because you have graciously decided to give me part of your time to. In the, in the, in the trust that I'm going to Deliver an interview that is going to help you to become a better photographer. Like, that's, that's the game that we're playing here. So when somebody decides to come on and just pitch a product, like, I hate it, I can't stand it. And again, out of the 10, 12, 15 each week, people pitches that I get each week to come on the podcast, I'd say 99% of them are exactly that. So just FYI, when you are listening to podcasts in the future, remember that, okay? Because it's a thing. Oh, another good. Actually, this might be a better stitch than earlier. Yeah, I think that would be a good one. But I can say definitively that Cloud Spot is. They're good people. They're good people. And sorry to continue in on this. They like. Cloud Spot has a vested interest in helping you to become a better photographer. Where, like, companies like, well, I'm not going to name any companies, but, like, they get your money and then it's good. However, cloudspot, like I said, has a vested interest in ensuring that you become a better photographer. Become the photographer that you want to be. Because if you get into photography, you realize, oh, I need a gallery service to be able to deliver my photos to clients in a beautiful way and sell prints. Cloudspot's the right answer. If for some reason you, your business fails, right, you're not getting enough clients or something like that happens, well, then they lose you as a client as well. So, like, they, they want you to succeed. It's a mutually beneficial relationship and there's just not a lot of those in the photography space. And that's, that's. That's my soapbox. That's just one reason why I love cloudspot so much and have truly enjoyed working with them over the past few years. So then, as you, as you may know, there's this global pandemic that happens. And if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that, that is when I had the realization that, you know what? I don't think that weddings are right for me. And I decided to get out of weddings. And there was this moment where I was like, oh, this will be great, because now I can actually dedicate more time to the podcast and growing the podcast. So as all the things that are required to growing a business started to. There's strategy, there's forecasting, there's. There's finances, there's deep planning, and it's like, these are just not my strong suit, right? Those are not. That's not my zone. Of genius. And again, it just kind of got me further away from the reason why I started the podcast, which was to have conversations with photographers about photography. So here I am in the situation where it's like, oh, I have to turn this into a business, because now I've quit weddings. I've told myself that this was a great idea. And I do think that, you know, running a podcast can be a great business if you do it the right way, but it was never set up that way. It could be a great business if you, you know, bring in the right team of people to help you along the way. But I didn't do any of that. I just wanted to talk to photographers about photography. Oh, we got another stitch right here. This is good. Okay, let's see this one. Oh, it's way underexposed. See, this is always gonna check your exposure before taking the shot. 1, 2, and 3. Cool. So all of that, on top of, you know, more and more and more and more people reaching out to be on the podcast strictly to just pitch a product, it became more difficult to. To run a podcast that I would be proud of, that I would be interested in, and one that I think you would get value from. And I have protected that as hard as I possibly could with every fiber of my being over the past few years. But still became this question of, like, this is. This is not what it was when it started. This is not my zone of genius. Is it's time to walk away, or is it time to double down with a sizable time and financial investment? So I thought about this for, well, a year, a whole year without making a decision. And I just kind of continued to, you know, make the best episodes that I could and just do my best. But over that year, it slowly starts to. To get to you, right? All of the times that you wish you could go out and shoot, but you have emails to respond to, you have people to reach out to, you have to reschedule certain interviews. And within all of that, and like, you. By when you choose one thing, you. When you. When you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to another, right? So by saying yes to the podcast, I had started to start saying no to photography and going out and actually shooting. And I got to the point where it had been, like, a few months before I really, like, shot something significant at all or for myself or of worth. And I remember sitting down in front of the podcast mic and having a conversation with somebody, and they were talking about the importance of personal projects and going out and shooting these things. And. And I had asked, like, yeah, well, what if you don't, you know, have. Have time for these things? That's a. That's a very easy thing to put on to the back burner. And they had said, hey, look, if it's important to you, you'll make time for it. And I was just like, hell, yeah, brother. You know, like, that's the way to do it. That's right. And then after that conversation, I realized, I'm not doing that at all. I'm not doing that at all. Who am I? So, you know, you try to go out and you have yourself a nice little photo walk, similar to, like, what I'm doing today. And it does recharge you some. Right? There is this element of, like, getting into that creative flow again, and it feels really good. And you capture these images, and almost regardless of how they turn out, it was still net positive. It was better that you went out and shot, even if you didn't get any photos that you like, than not going out and shooting at all. But then it comes time to, you know, get back in front of the microphone and produce another episode, because episodes come out every Tuesday, that when I do that, I sat back down, and there was just so much hesitation to get back into recording the podcast. It was almost as if, like, my body had said, whoa, whoa, why did you stop? Why did you stop doing that thing? Like, why did you stop shooting? Like, there's still more to shoot. Why did you stop? Don't go back to this other thing. Like, not right now. You need to go back to shooting. And that was hard for me to wrestle with because my job as a podcast host to. Well, one, I want to have conversations that I find interesting myself. But two, I have a certain level of knowledge about photography that you can benefit from, and I will be the first to admit that. Look, I am not the world's best photographer. I'm not. I don't have any master photographer qualifications or awards or anything like that. But I do know how to use a camera, how to shoot manual. I know how to see and read light. I know how to build an image through composition. I know how to edit images, and I know how to start a photography business. And that is where you're at right now. Those are the things that you need help with. That is why over the years, y' all continued to ask me for more education, more courses, and that's what I did. I delivered them to you, and they've proven to be, you know, popular offerings. So this idea of having this knowledge and then walking away just felt so selfish and I couldn't do it. That was the struggle that I kept coming back to. So a few weeks ago, I go out another photo walk just like this, right? Because I had sat down on that podcast microphone and. Or at the podcast microphone. Not on it. Ouch. No, at it. And there was, there was a lot of hesitation. So I went out on a photo walk, clear my head, and the whole time I'm thinking, you know, do I, what do I do here? What is the right choice? What is the right decision to make? And the whole time I'm thinking, do I, do I double down? You know, because I've have all these grand ideas. Starting a YouTube channel so that I can show you, I guess going deeper into a YouTube channel to show you more of, you know, more, more hands on stuff, right? Sometimes photograph, sometimes photography is a difficult medium to learn through audio. And I get that. So YouTube channel would help with that. Going deeper into a blog and having more resources there. Going deeper into more in person events. Man, the. Every year that I go to imaging, I leave so refreshed, so fulfilled. When we had our workshop up in Chicago, holy cow, guys, if you weren't there, I cannot tell you how electric is the wrong word. But just so, like, you just left recharged and you were ready to go. So do I go deeper into all those things or do I, do I walk away from this thing? Because clearly there's this, there's this hesitation, there's this feeling of doing so. Like I want to capture more images. I have these ideas for photo projects that I want to achieve. I do want to continue to fill your cup. I want to continue to inspire you. I want to continue to educate you. I want to continue to have conversations with photographers about photography and learn how they see the world. I deeply, deeply, deeply want to continue to do those things. But right now, man, my cup is empty. And I can't expect to fill yours from my empty cup. So I get back in the car right from this photo walk and I'm leaving. Still wrestling with this decision, though, because it's been a major part of my life for the past, you know, 10 years. So I get in the car and halfway home, I'm not, I'm not kidding you, this is not hyperbole, when I tell you the exact song that I needed to hear came on my ipod and in that moment, holy cow. Not only had I, I don't think I'd heard that song in the past, you know, 13 years since hearing it when crossing the California into Nevada border. But hearing it in that moment, oh, it gave me this feeling once again of, like, peace. Of, like, okay, this was the push that I needed. This was the thing that I needed to hear right now. And it brought to me this overwhelming sense of peace again. And by the time I got home, I could tell that my attitude had completely shifted from, what am I doing? Am I going to make the right decision? Like, what is this going to look like long term? Am I going to get nothing but hate email from people for not giving away more, you know, free episodes of the podcast? Like, what is this going to look like? 2. Oh, man, I am excited for all of the new possibilities for everything that is to come from photo projects that I've been saying that I've been working on for years, and I have, but that's only because I haven't been dedicating enough time to get them done in a timely manner. The time that, you know, I'll just be able to spend with family, being more present at my daughter's softball games, being more present when my son asks to go plane spotting and it's a Thursday, you know, I'm not going to be thinking, oh, but the guest canceled, and now I have to rerecord. I have to record a whole episode today to get out to my editor to be able to edit by Tuesday. But actually, being there and present, I am so excited for this. So what does this mean for you? What does that. Me saying goodbye to the podcast, ME to you. Am I gone forever? No, I'm not gone forever. But at the same time, I'm not gonna make a commitment that says I'll be back in, you know, three, six, nine, 12 months. Not gonna do that. You know, the podcast, there seems to be episodes that help you in a certain way, Right? Maybe you're dealing with something like posing or light or photographing kids or getting interesting photos or, you know, shooting your first wedding. There's. There's a lot of things that the podcast can still absolutely help with. And because of that, the podcast is going to continue to remain available for you to download and listen to whenever you want. It's still going to be out there. So don't unsubscribe. Just it's free, right? Why would you do that? Like, just continue to stay subscribed. Point is, podcast is going to remain available to listen to whenever you want. As well as all of my education. I'm not taking anything down. So all of the Courses that I have built over the years that you have helped me build, that you have provided your input on and guided the direction of these courses so that it would be perfect for you. Those are still going to remain available and at a bit of a discount, because if I'm not doing this full time, then there's just not as many expenses that need to be paid for. So if that's you, if you're thinking, hey, I need help with camera settings, I need help seeing light using flash, I need help with editing. What do I do in Lightroom, what buttons do I press, getting started with a business, anything like that, then just head over to beginnerphotopod.com Eduardo that's Echo Delta Umbrella, and you'll find them there. Wow, there's a little caterpillar right here that is on some sort of web. What is happening? It looks like it's just floating, like it's just crawling up an invisible wall. Wow. It's going to turn himself into a butterfly. That's beautiful. And also, I've talked with the moderators of the Facebook group. We got Jim, we got Kim, we got Magda, and they've decided to, you know, continue to stay on as moderators of the community. So the community's still going to be there, too. Community is still going to be an extremely helpful place to, you know, learn photography, share photos, and not feel, you know, like you're going to be attacked or flamed because of, you know, a photo that, that you took. So if you're not a part of our group already, feel free to join us@bounnerphotopod.com group. But I do think about what a wild ride the podcast has been so far. Everybody who I've met in person, like, there's no way that I could, you know, name you all. And this has just been incredible, right? Like, meeting all of you. And you have, you have made an impact on my life, and I hope that I've made an impact on yours as well. Now, if you are still listening to this, right, this very long goodbye, then I can tell that the podcast has either helped you or meant something to you as well. And, man, I would so appreciate if you reach out to me and let me know. I would be so thankful. Just shoot me an email@bounnerphotographypodcastmail.com Let me know what you think about the podcast. Let me know what it has done for you. Let me know how you have grown as a photographer because of the podcast. I would love, love, love, love to hear from you. And hey, if you are around Indy, you know, reach out, maybe we can find a time to sync up. I'll buy you coffee. Buy a beer. We got a lot of great breweries here in Indy. That'd be a good time. You know, we got. We got some good beers. I am totally the kind of person who can ramble on and on and on, but when it comes to goodbyes, I am not the best. So to keep this from me being the awkward guy, making this goodbye even more awkward, I'm just going to end it right here and say, thank you all so much and I hope to see you soon. Remember, the more that you shoot today, the better of a photographer you will be tomorrow.